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Welsh Grandma Calls for Halt to Vaping Industry

Manufacturers of electronic cigarettes will have to close up shop if the recommendations of Cardiff grandmother Linda James-Davies are to be heeded. "I’d like to tell companies making them to stop making them,” said the Welsh grandmother of six, when a fire from a vaporiser charging system gutted her home. “E-cigarettes have ruined my life. They have wrecked 28 years of living in my home."

Ms. James-Davies left the vaporiser battery charging on an extension cord in her bedroom while she took a bath and fixed herself a meal in the kitchen. She realized that her bedroom was ablaze only when the smoke alarm went off. Despite the fact that she had left the charging system unsupervised, she is reportedly convinced that it is e-cigarettes that destroyed her life, rather than careless practices with an electrical system.

Reporters for Wales Online apparently accepted the idea of e-cig culpability in the mishap. "You will NOT believe the damage e-cigs caused to this ex-smoker's house," trumpets the headline of the article, published almost two weeks after the blaze. The article does not state why it is deemed incredible that electrical fires can destroy houses, which seems odd given that the same online news source has recently reported on two other fires in the area. "Caroline Street closed off as fire starts in one of famous street's chip shops," proclaims another headline on the same page, oddly not accompanied by a demand for a ban on chips. Another headline tells of a fire at a scrap yard, without casting aspersions on the scrap yard business.

James-Davies remains traumatized, reports indicate, and will presumably return to her pack-a-day smoking habit, thus returning her to a 50/50 probability of an early death. Other alternatives for her might have been: 1.) buying reputable equipment, 2.) carefully following manufacturers' instructions on charging her device, 3.) observing the precautionary habit of remaining in the same room when recharging any electronic device, and never leaving a charging battery unattended.

From the archive of The Luddite Times, October 20, 1829, Northampton, England: The home of a Northampton grandmother was gutted yesterday, when a fire spread from her gas stove. She had left a steak and kidney pie cooking on the new-fangled contraption while she took a bath and had a bite in the next room.

Authorities are considering outlawing steak and kidney pie, in view of increasing reports of fires resulting from cooking them unattended on these dangerous new kitchen gadgets.

The gas stove was patented three years ago in this district, and has been marketed since last year. The alarming proliferation of fire incidents makes it clear that this invention is a significant health danger, and steps must be taken to end its rampaging destruction of human property and even life.

 

Just kidding.

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